Weekly Arts Preview

Through the ages and to the present the general rule of thumb for Vancouver culture has been: though in the grand scheme of things it is not (yet) a big (or World Class, if you prefer) city, it yields dividends to at least superficially address most interests, however esoteric, providing you dig a bit to find their enthusiasts and practitioners. Beyond Robson has kindly provided me with a shapely spade, absolving you of the need to get your hands dirty in the mud the recent rains have graced us with.

(Otherwise put, for fans of our embarrassment of new free daily papers: I comb through things taped on to lamp-posts and wade through listings, press releases, mailing lists and mounds of fliers to make weekly recommendations of upcoming and ongoing cultural events. Somewhere, in all the wash, you may well find the grandest adventure of them all -- something to do on your night off.)

Monday, August 29th

-- For more years than one can casually remember now, the VANCOUVER POETRY SLAM has been presenting a very effective Canadian take on a very American portmanteau of an activity: performing poetry (or "spoken word", to banish spectres of sonnets and haiku) competitively to be ranked, complete with diving-style scorecards, by judges selected randomly from the audience. It's practically an intramural sport with teams, play-offs, traveling bouts and international championships. You can enjoy the verbal bloodsport the 1st, 3rd and 5th Monday of every month at Café Deux Soleils (2096 Commercial Drive at 5th Avenue); sign-up at 8 pm, open mic at 8:30 for those not yet ready for the fangs and claws of the judges, and the main attraction at 9. Often a touring individual or team will feature to perform a half-time set of sorts. All this can be yours for $5.

-- If you've ever wondered how tall they are in person or how they look without studio lights hiding the crow's feet, titans of Canadian culture and national identity, having been locked out from their eldrich concrete ziggurat mothership, will mingle with the mortals who usually only come close enough to watch and listen to them. That's right: from 8 am to 2 pm, over 30 local CBC personalities will be walking a ceremonial block along the 700 block of Hamilton Street for public broadcasting (and specifically, the flavour that ensures their continued job security.) Trade quips with Bill Richardson! Sidle up to hunky Ian Hanomansing! Do the Macarena with Gloria Macarenko! Is that a piece of spinach lodged between Grant Lawrence's teeth? Maybe all of that will happen AND MORE! (Then again, maybe none of it!) We do know, however, that a second episode will be recorded on-site of the renegade broadcast CBC Unplugged from Radio Zero.

-- Once it was but a lowly ice rink, helping Vancouver to appreciate something the rest of Canada takes as a given: winter. But now, with UBC's legal department having kiboshed the ice for liability reasons, ROBSON SQUARE has taken on a new life as an agora of sorts -- a rare public space of no interest to dog-walkers, instead fostering square dance sessions, political rallies, performances (such as the recent Summer Dream Reading Festival), and now... workshops of every stripe, creed and colour. It's not so surprising to see b-boyz popping, dropping and locking on the rink's smooth surface, nor to see skaters endlessly circling in hopes of finally completing a nollie, but stopping by recently you might have been surprised to see a bevy of armed maniacs practicing what turned out to be historical swordfighting. The surreality of it all gets jacked up another notch or two at 10 pm, where since January mouthmaster Dax Be has been leading free weekly Monday night group improvised vocal soundscape sessions, harnessing the untapped acoustical potential beneath the glass domes atop the square to transport its participants to jungles, tribal villages, and cosmic reaches hitherto unexplored -- or at least places that sound like them. This is the second-last scheduled vocal jam at this location ... after September 5th its freaky community of practitioners may well disperse to the four corners of the globe in search of the deeper meaning behind the syllables of scat, so drop by and join in while you still can!

Friday, September 2nd

-- 10 pm Friday night is your last chance to register for a heady weekend ahead of masochistic literary kicks -- the 28th annual 3-Day Novel competition. Surely the only thing that can top a long weekend full of ferry delays and Labour Day party disasters is chugging a flat of your energy drink of choice and cranking out a 100-page screed describing, in excruciating detail, the party you wish you were attending instead: you know, the one with the blimp, the oatmeal-filled wading pool, the midget butlers dispensing champagne in water pistols, and the funny sex accident that ends with Parliament Hill burning to the ground? ("Whoops," our protagonist might be caught saying, "but it was worth it!") For just a $50 registration fee, the masterwork you produce over (and ONLY over) the next three days could be the big winner, culminating in the publication of your novel! Better start thinking now about what kind of "about the author" photograph you're going to want on the inside of the back cover -- blurry, obscured by shadow, or smug in front of a bookshelf?

Saturday, September 3rd

-- Back in the day they called them "wang-dang-doodle"s; more obtuse eras called them "skiffle"s. The layman's label would likely be "a rent party". Whatever you want to call it, one is being thrown this night by the Butchershop Floor (195 E. 26th Avenue at Main), mid-Main's favourite abattoir-turned-gallery and home to exhibitions, screenings, concerts, life drawing sessions and workshops -- all in any given week. Birdband is headlining along with to-be-announced select cuts -- if we're lucky (and raise enough funds), not end meats. Doors at 9 pm; admission is on a sliding scale from $6 to an undefined upper point.

Sunday, September 4th

-- There but for the grace of God goes the Butchershop; last month hip and hidden artspot BLIM was shut down for reasons still somewhat nebulous. From 9 pm to 2 am, Video In (1965 Main Street) plays host to BLIM's closing ceremonies with the culmination of its Miserylovescompany series -- one final night of sad songs, "sadness" interpreted by dozens of local performers in microsets of ten to twenty minutes... so if you don't like what's playing, step outside for a smoke and by the time you're done, something completely different (-- but equally sad) will have replaced it!

Illustration by Julian Braga (RIP).