Hey Loser! Don't Lose Your Passport!

Posted by Jeff
Filed in City
January 9, 2007

Everyone's known for a while now that Canadians travelling southwards to the... uhhh... Land Of The Free will need a passport to do so as of January 23rd. Anyone familiar with human behaviour also knew that everyone would leave getting their documents to the last minute, promising epic lines at the Sinclair Centre. So I was feeling pretty smug about my passport being good for another year and a half... until I went to book a flight to Thailand and couldn't find the damn thing.

I somehow managed to lose my passport somewhere in my building between the parking garage and my 3rd-floor apartment. The best I can come up with is that it fell out of one of my bags and someone picked it up to sell on the black market for a tidy profit. Either that or it fell unnoticed into my paper recycling bin and got sent off to the pulper. A notice in my building turned up nothing. In the two days since I'd seen it I'd made one trip out of my place to a friend's house, and it wasn't there either. This was not good. Out of all the passports I've had, this one was my favourite because it'd been stamped in six countries on four continents. Fuck.

Identity theft being rampant these days, I figured I should get right to reporting it missing. Surprise! I couldn't find the photocopy of my passport either, which meant I didn't have my passport number, which meant that I couldn't file a police report until I got my number from the passport office, which they definitely do not give over the phone, if I was even able to get past the busy signal anyway, which is basically impossible right now, which left one course of action... get my paperwork together and go to the Sinclair Centre to get in line. Double fuck.

The scene at the Sinclair Centre was as expected. Liney. Very very liney. I spent over two hours in line on the ground floor just to get into the line up in the office (and I should mention here that the overall atmosphere wasn't angry and impatient and pushy-shovey as I had expected. People were chatting amongst themselves, reading, laughing... there was a reporter from CBC Radio doing interviews... I didn't hear a single person swearing out loud... it was a nice surprise). The whole thing took 4 1/2 hours... enough time to get through 70 pages of Hemingway's "For Whom The Bell Tolls", which I highly recommend to anybody with a taste for fine literature.

I'd also recommend a few other things to those people:
1. Don't lose your passport.
2. Keep a photocopy of your passport.
3. If you have to apply, make sure your application is filled out correctly and double check all the details. A woman who was just ahead of me in line waited over four hours only to get turned away because her guarantor was a professor emeritus (ie. retired or semi-retired).
4. Read "The Master and Margarita" by Mikhail Bulgakov

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interesting about the professor emeritius. my guarantor is my father in law, who is a retired prof. engineer... we've had no problems getting passports. wonder what the difference is....

Posted by: colleen at January 9, 2007 11:29 AM | Quote Comment

thanks for the tips. not sure if you tried this first, but you can get most of the paperwork done online. you still have to head down to the office, but you get into the speedy line, instead of the rest of the poor masses. i was in and out of their in 20 mins tops (granted this was last year) but even then, that's pretty quick.

Posted by: ianmack at January 9, 2007 12:44 PM | Quote Comment

Sounds like applying online is the way to go. For some reason I didn't realize you could do that. Oh well, I'll look at it as an excuse to have spent most of a work day reading a book. You can also mail your application in if you aren't in a rush. It will take longer for your passport to get to you, but you won't have to set aside a whole afternoon to stand in a line.

Posted by: Jeff

at January 9, 2007 1:04 PM | Quote Comment

To clarify, not all Canadians entering the US need a passport yet -- only those entering by air.

The Master and Margarita tip is an eternal one, however.

Posted by: Rowan at January 9, 2007 1:59 PM | Quote Comment

What time of day did you show up at the office?

Posted by: Rachel at January 9, 2007 5:26 PM | Quote Comment

I showed up at around 9:15. I think the office opens at 7:30.

Posted by: Jeff

at January 9, 2007 6:05 PM | Quote Comment

I feel your pain Jeff...just click on my name and you'll see, I beat your passport story by a longshot!

Posted by: Wanderlusting at January 9, 2007 8:54 PM | Quote Comment

Last time I renewed my passport I went at 07.15. In and out in less than 45 minutes.

Posted by: Ariadna

at January 9, 2007 9:45 PM | Quote Comment

Ahhh, those carefree days will eventually return. I hear that this week the lineups have been starting at 6am.

Posted by: Jeff

at January 9, 2007 11:19 PM | Quote Comment

I feel your pain. I lost my passport on Christmas Eve (or realized it was lost) eight hours before a flight to the US and I was pretty sure the deadline for a passport was Jan. 1/06 but fortunately, it was pushed back until later this month. I didn't think to photocopy my passport either...

In my experience the lines aren't quite so bad if you go late in the afternoon (an hour or two before closing) because everyone likes to get down there first thing in the morning or around lunch.

Posted by: Viola at January 10, 2007 10:20 AM | Quote Comment