Morning Brew: May 28th

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Filed in City
May 28, 2008

B.C. opening door to foreign security guards at Olympics. Hey cool, they can all wear the colours of their country. Just be wary if there's a particularly large contingent from Saudi Arabia. Especially since its the winter Olympics. But other than that, super fun times ahead!

B.C. Supreme Court rules closing safe injection site unconstitutional. Next up to be made unconstitutional: cutting welfare, raising tuition, and those Axe commercials.

Hey, did you know that John Reynolds is the lobbyist for Sam Sullivan's drug-substitution project? who is also the lobbyist for lobbyist Ken Dobell, who is Sullivan's lobbyist as well as Gordon Campbell's. John Reynolds lobbies Ken Dobell on behalf of the feds, while Sullivan just hangs out in lobbies waiting for the elevator.

Meanwhile Oppal retreats halfway on Bill 42. Like everything you do Fischer; big show, no results.

Canadian Government Wants to Search Your Laptop. Just in case you decided to hide tiny vials of hotel shampoo in there. But seriously, no fucking fluids people! Nothing. Not even lemons. Or steak.

our alternative transportation is...

Vancouver parents arrested after baby posted for sale online. So now instead of what should've been a hilarious joke completely backfires and now the ministry of child services has your baby. Ha ha.

Queen Elizabeth Park Gets the Axe. Alternative title: Park Raving Mad. This is why Vision should shy away from De Genova. He's totally insane.

Commercial Drive BIA rejects Ambassadors. Who'd have thought that commercial drive would have better fashion sense than downtown?

Vancouver's Gastown Heritage Program On Hold. That should be Vancouver's motto. "Welcome to Vancouver: Our heritage program is on hold. Sorry for any inconvenience".

And finally, John Martin farts out of his mouth and onto the keyboard and manages to get it published despite the fart-scented false teeth that he accidentally faxed to the editor 27 times. How old is this fucking guy?

PS. Fart-scented false teeth? Yup. I actually wrote that.