Frock off

Please view the following write-up through the eyes of a try hard cynical hipster who pretends he isn't a hipster; who feigns quasi pseudo intellectual superiority over trivial things like fashion all the while really he's trying to mask his insecurity complex that he has with his own appearance. "Dude are you being sarcastic?" "Aww man I don't even know anymore." I mean, I watch America's Next Top Model for fuck's sake. My girlfriend is a fashion designer. So what's the problem? Why am I so opposed, or rather ironically detached, to fashion? Especially when it's a bunch of really talented local designers?

The truth is that I'm not. Not really.

Okay, here's the thing. When you are sort of making fun of fashion by having a fashion show, you are still... um... having a fashion show. In the age of irony for irony's sake, ironically irony is lost on some people. Ironic, huh? But let's just say that the first irony cancels the second irony out. Okay, so where are we at? Oh yes. A fashion show. At the Lamplighter.

The first thing I notice is a row of chairs that snakes from the stage towards the front door, then curves back around to the back door and into the Dominion Hotel. The chairs all have nametags on them. They are reserved. That's embarrassing. The whole thing just kind of reeks like Terry David Mulligan in a Cat's Eye/Susie's Night Out photo-montage of what's happenin (note the lack of 'G') around town. Okay Sean, just turn off your cynic switch. Just fucking turn it off. This is a fun event with fun people who are mostly your friends. Get over yourself.

Hey look! It's local new wave electro-rock unit No No Spots! Am I missing something? Are you actually trying to look like you're coked-up Vice Mag wannabe posers? Now maybe I'm just bitter because I was in a band called Go Go Stop... nah they're just really bad. (I am going to lose a lot of friends over this). I mean, what's wrong with generic techno as the backdrop to a fashion show? I'm sorry, I truly am. More hairspray please.

Hey look! There's The Dark! He's that hip new stencil artist! Actually wait a second. He looks really good. Hey Look! There's Amil Niazi, writer for Vancouver's underground art rag The Only! Oh wait, she looks hot too. Hey Look! Its Adam! Damn, what the shit. He also looks good. I have nothing to complain about. They all look really hot. The hair. The digs. Right down to the faux sassy sauntering. This is actuallly pretty fun. Goon Pack! Hey that's my friend Merida's stuff. Check out her new site, it's shit hot. City of Pula! I have shorts from there. Wil Bravar is a super rad dude to boot. Moustache and Darling and JD's did the hair? So hot right now.

See Sean? It's okay. You're allowed to enjoy this kind of thing. It's ok. You don't have to be so angry all the time. Vancouver is a real city.