The Elbow Room is Nice

Their motto: "food and service is our name, abuse is our game." If you enjoy a little attitude with your food, this is the place to go. The portions are large, the selection is vast with 72 breakfast items to choose from, the food is good and the entertainment value is priceless. It's been said that "surliness is elevated to an art form" here so expect a quirky approach to customer service.

So I went to the Elbow Room last weekend. Before we had even parked I was already salivating with the thought of how we might be insulted. Would it be right away? Or would they wait until we ordered? Would I talk back? I hadn't been to the Elbow Room in years and I must say I was looking forward to the type of service that talks back. Overly helpful and a keen to please servers were be becoming wearisome. Walking in the door we were greeted graciously. We were seated and given menus. The place was almost empty save for some kid with huge headphones over his ears and a slick slathering of black eyeliner under his eyes. He was very focused on what looked to be a fashion magazine. We were seated beside an autographed photo of Big Fanny Annie.

An older and very flamboyant man with a shaved head and a French Canadian accent sashayed over to our table. We weren't ready to order and so, hips a kilter, he made his way to a table in the back and sat himself next to another man with a shaved head.

I made a quick visit to the restroom, which caused me to pass their table. The ladies restroom was being cleaned and so I stood for moment, unsure of what to do; wait, or use the men's. The two clean headed men jeered when they saw my indecision and encouraged me to use the men's washroom, which I did quickly, if only to have their teasing attention off of me. If you are seated at the toilet in the mens you will look directly at a picture of two men, one naked, his privates cleverly covered by some kind of advertisment, and the other clad in what I believe, outside of Olympic swimming events, is called a banana hammock . Having these two men stare at me, their bulging, shaved pecs and lacivious stares, was somewhat disconcerting while trying to urinate.

We ordered our food. I had a veggie burger. My taste for eggs had somehow vanished. My bf had an omelet which he ate with incalculable speed. I am not sure he actually tasted anything and so I did not ask his opinion on the dish. I, on the other hand, ate slowly, allowing myself to taste the full flavor of the anemic looking defrosted veggie patty smothered in mayo and topped with raw onion, tomato, lettuce and a pickle.

So far we hadn't been insulted yet, and I was a little disappointed. Our meal was almost over and we were going to have to leave. The closest we had edged toward an insult was when my bf asked for more hot water in his tea pot. He was told to: "Get it yourself." The server had a sly smile as he said this, and I could tell he too had been waiting for the insults. But alas, he was a server, and therefore added, "There is hot water station for customers just over there." He pointed helpfully.

Later my bf got up to use the restroom and passed the two depilated men. He was suddenly forced into the same quandry to which I had been subject earlier; the men's washroom was being cleaned. The heckling section ridiculed him toward the women's washroom. And then the French Canadian accented man taunted: "You better not mess it up." And the other man laughed. A third server, who was standing behind the cash register, yelled to the first man, "Maybe you better go in there(the washroom) and help him keep the place clean." I saw my bf duck into the washroom deftly. I expected insults not Celebrities.

We left sated. The portions are generous and very reasonably priced (veggie burgers however do not seem to be thier forte). But frankly I was disappointed by their kindness.

Elbow Room Cafe, The (Downtown)
560 Davie Street
Phone: 604.685.3628 Fax: 604.685.4338

The opening quote was taken from www.123vancouver.com
photo courtesy of: tiss1.cims.hokudai.ac.jp