Anarchy Is Neato! NEATO!

There's nothing like a big speech from the front man of platinum selling band about how they're just doing it for the fans, and sticking it to the man. Then there's the singer yelling about how they're glad that they never sold out, and advising the mass of kids to do likewise, all while standing on a corporate branded stage, during a corporate branded event. Add in a little bit of Nü Anärchy with a singer singing a song about thinking for yourself where he leads the audience in raising their fists to the sky and swinging them in unison. Look at us, we're thinking for ourselves; it's anarchy!

I've never been to a festival like this, so I couldn't turn down an exchange of my soul ... time access to the show. I like seeing things for myself rather than writing them off wholesale, so off I headed with cameras in hand to witness this orgy of consumerism.

I don't normally put much thought into wardrobe, as anyone who knows me will likely attest; I'm mostly interested in function over form when it comes to clothes. In choosing what to wear in attending the Vans Warped Tour stop in Vancouver, I really didn't have much choice; I had to wear my one and only slogan t-shirt today. This shirt was meant for a show like Warped; "Your favorite band sucks." I suppose many people would have seen it as ironic... seriously though, when you're 16, it's extremely likely that your favorite band DOES suck.

This is a great training camp for the Real World, as you have to stand in line at an ATM behind people who are attempting to refinance mortgages and transfer money from offshore accounts if you're left to judge by how slowly the line is moving. The cash you've just received is not redeemable for food and beverages, though; for that you need SPECIAL MONEY that you have to trade your REAL MONEY for at the end of another line. Now, you need to stand in at least a couple MORE lines. Do you want fries? One line for that. Hamburger? Another line. Lemonade? Yet another, very very slow moving line. The SPECIAL MONEY is required for all food purchases, and is not officially redeemable for cash, so you need to think ahead or plan to stand in more lines. Perfect indoctrination for the future drones.

Not all of the music was horrid and interchangeable, derivative pop punk as I'd have expected; Joan Jett wasn't bad, and Helmet provided a bit more heavy in the middle of all the suburban angst. I even managed to find a CD from somewhere other than the Mint Records booth that didn't offend my sensibilities too much; even if the people selling it did. The compilation by Play-a-grrrl has some gems on it, and at $5 it provided an introduction to 24 girl-fronted bands that I might not otherwise have heard about.

Apologies to defunct band The Chick Magnets for the theft of the title...