Morning Brew: January 31st

State of the Shitty. Only 85 bucks to hear our lame duck mayor prattle on about his mythical achievements. Oh and you had to be invited. And you had to wear an Olympic pin on your lapel, have a membership to either the Arbutus Club or the Vancouver Club, and be willing to sacrifice a virgin on an altar made of fresh Orca meat in a secret ceremony in one of those tunnels that runs under the Hotel Vancouver.

Provincial survey says 85% of ER patients satisfied with care. Hey! That's not what Canwest keeps telling me. There's gotta be something wrong with the survey. Just like with crime statistics. Aren't people getting shot in gangland slayings every five minutes? Of course, I wouldn't know, because I'm too scared to leave my gated community.

North Vancouver Politics has a good reaction to this Province 'newsitorial': World-class housing prices in B.C. I probably would have quoted this, "The pathway to affordable housing is abundantly clear: Remove urban growth boundaries," and said something like "Hey, why don't we remove the urban growth boundaries in the front yard of your fucking monster home in Coquitlam asshole". If we're running out of land, why are we so desperate to show it off to the world? How many people are going to move here after the Olympics?

Credit Check: (Hey, the Only's getting good again). "Canwest is suing Rafe Mair for writing some weak ass shit about their crummy cartoonists on some fishing website. They're all a bunch of seniors and it’s amazing they can even use the internet, isn't it?"

Carbon tax? Not when B.C. emits so few green gases. They spend so much time denying greenhouse gases exist that they can't even get their headlines straight. Green gases? You mean like kryptonite? Because Marvel Comics are about as strongly rooted in reality as your view of the world.

It seems like I'm mortgaging my future to go green. It seems like you're wasting your future by writing this nonsense. I hope your children hate you.

'Thousands' of troops pledged for 2010. Whoa, whoa, wait. Hold the phone. Time out. Stop the presses. The guy's name is Rear Admiral Pile? Man, the army went gay pretty quickly. Go affirmative action!

No welcome mat for Welcome Home. Surrey Residents don't like sound of refuge for ex-cons. Wasn't Surrey already a refuge for ex-cons?

VPD cops wiped off city's anti-graffiti beat. There was an anti-graffiti beat? Why?

City Honours Vancouver Remembered. Which is fitting because they're doing everything they can to erase our past.

Although this is one piece of our past that I wouldn't miss: Blow Up B.C. Place. Oh yes, let's! Preferably with all of Yaletown inside of it.

Photo by none other than Otto O'Brien. If I forget to link to a picture, its either mine or Otto's. Sorry Jeff.