Morning Brew: Summer in a barn seems like heaven

Actual Province headline: Summer in a barn seems like heaven. Actual first two paragraphs of said article: "Watching Trammy Nguyen wield a pitchfork, expertly steer her giant red wheelbarrow and gracefully hop over a fence into a horse's paddock, it would be easy to presume she's a born-and-bred farm girl. The 16-year-old is far from it. She's an east-end city girl but, with her hair tied back in a ponytail and muddy jeans, she more than looks the part." Wow. The Province turned into a Nancy Drew novel so gradually I hardly even noticed.

Candidate for platitude of the year: The future lies before us. Wow, genius. K, now, just look at the picture of the author and imagine him whispering into your ear in a husky bosso profundo like Gob , "Are you psychic? Neither am I. That's why we don't know what's going to happen 100 years, or 10 years or even two years from now", then go ahead and get creeped the fuck out.

Mair wants retraction from Supreme Court judges. So he gets sued for calling somebody names, claims free speech, wins, then tries to sue the court for calling him names? The court should sue Rafe for calling the court names, and then Rafe can claim free speech and then an infinite mobius strip could tear a rift in the space-time manifold, creating an inter-dimensional gateway between quantum level particles and the vacuous nebula of dark matter that makes up most of the universe, effectively triggering the Big Crunch.

Ottawa wants Vancouver organizers to include Afghan veterans in torch relay. Also, the torch must be fueled by tar sands

Harm Reduction, '50s Style. 'The push for enlightened drug reform in Vancouver is 50 years old. Government crushed it then, as it wants to now'. Ignorance? We go waaay back.

Vancouver May Be Livable, But It's Not Happy. Vancouver is kind of like when you live with the same person for 5 years but can't break up with them because you're just so comfortable.

Telus Sucks: a whine. I hear you dude.