Morning Brew: This One Was Done in Mauve

A New Sun is Rising, as the Vancouver Sun ups its print-exclusive content, making it that much more difficult to sift for real news. Funny, all I could focus on was the fucking giant HP ad repeatedly rising over half the damn article. Kind of reminds me of those new advertising flaps that cover half the front page of that spiffy print edition. Well, it all does reek of something. *ahem* NOT legitimate solutions.

We still get the real nuggets online though: Bob Ransford offers his defense of condos and DTES gentrification. I'm pretty sure he has no real argument, but there was a Thinsations popup covering those middle paragraphs. It's not a "real neighbourhood" 'til I can properly shop around for 100-calorie packs, right?

While plastic bags may soon be banned in BC, some are still having water bottled rage over at UBC. I gotta agree, and they're certainly not helping the situation when the only personal water bottles available on campus are $26 at the bookstore or $23 at Starbucks. Also, water needs more caffeine.

North Delta Candidate faces four sex charges. The guy lists himself as a Greyhound bus driver and a "video executive"- what more do you need?

The new batch of VIFF ads, now online.

The season has officially arrived - here's the greatest umbrella ever.

I direct you to a more compelling pro-gentrification piece from the Courier: are entrepreneurs in Hastings-Sunrise 'incredibly brilliant or incredibly dumb?' Apparantly, "in the next three to four years it's going to become better than Commercial, better than Main Street." Or underwater.

Alright, a bit of credit to the Sun for this one: Downtown Eastside activists plan overnight vigil, pleading for the city to open up 15 'empty' hotels to help shelter our homeless from the incoming rains. If this were fall 2009 you might've gotten somewhere. For now, may I redirect you to that umbrella?

Since Harper won't say shit, Maclean's offers their summary on the current economic situation, It's Going to Get Worse: Why the Wall Street bailout won't save America's economy or ours. You can "probably" find out a bit more about how screwed we really are on Tuesday. Also, putting the $700bn bailout into perspective.

Meanwhile, Layton says unite!

This is beyond painful: B.C. spends $55,000 to send out school calendar correction-stickers. Don't most of our students toss these on day one or write racial slurs in the margins anyway? Frankly, I'm starting to doubt whether we'll even make it to that page...

Ok, slightly more painful: local man's body dragged for 5km by highway bus.

Issues with visas screw with VIFF. And Visa screws with my payments, and my Costco membership, and the rest of Canada. Good thing about the whole end of consumerism thing - those friendly credit card companies just might start losing their grip.

Maple Ridge john challenges Canadian prostitution laws. Yes, I need to be able to say I charged a hummer to my credit card before Visa goes under...

Sexual predator living downtown. Dude looks like half the guys walking around Yaletown. Just use that penchant for assault to rob some muscle-shirted yuppie with a puppy this time round and you'll be covered, man.

A new way to look at hipsters: as walking dollar bills. Which High Places t-shirt did ya'll get?

Chad VanGaalen, here next week. "Calgary: kind of like living with a stepdad who buys you everything you want, but who's still an asshole." Words of wisdom. Fill in the blank - Vancouver: kind of like living with ________________________. Winner could get something.

I'm sure by now you've seen the 'Don't Vote' YouTube PSA. The second I've made it to minute five of Leonardo DiCaprio and Ashton Kutcher lecturing me like my father after his Stampede party is the minute I know it's time to get the fuck off the continent.

Woah. Weird. Yes. Completely unrelated but beautiful: Magnetic Movie.

photo by avenida once