"Tasty" by Dilettante from the BR Flickr Pool (taken at last year's Oddball)

The weekend before Hallowe'en holds more promise than any other for finding fun things to do around the city. If you don't have any house parties lined up and don't want to head to the clubs, here are some free-ish, sort of public, not quite traditional Hallowe'en funtimes for you.

Friday Oct 26th
Hallowe'en Critical Mass: Just like all the other critical masses, but this time in costume. Meet at the VAG at 5pm, ride at 6pm. Veloween Party at the Anza afterwards (8pm and on) $5 with costume/$10 without.

Hallowe'en Skytrain Party: Just like commuting, except in costume, and with djs. Meet at the VCC-Clark Stn at 8:45. Only costs the price of a transfer. Secret party afterwards.

Fright Night: Just like the PNE, but with costumes and haunted houses and drunk teenagers. Every night till Hallowe'en, 6pm-11pm. $20-25, has it always been that expensive?

I missed David Cross' sold out shows last year, but I won't make the same mistake when he returns to ComedyFest this week with a buttload of performances in various shows. This time around, he's brought his buddies from Mr. Show with him. I can't think of a better way to laugh away the death of summer than by catching these festival highlights featuring alternative comedy's brightest stars:

I've scored press passes to Be Bare, a fashion auction that promises to be the 'naughtiest' in the city. Why so naughty? Well, perhaps because people bid for the clothes directly off of the models...who then proceed to strip down as each item of clothing finds a winning bid.

Great fashions. Hot models (guys and girls). Stripping down to reveal sexy undies. Have I got your attention yet? Read on for all the details...

If the leather, latex and metal of Sin City or Sanctuary stokes your fire, but you don't know where to go next, Rascal's is the solution. It's Vancouver's second oldest pansexual play party series, held every third Saturday at the Wise Club, 1882 Adanac. 8pm to 1am, $20 at the door.

Rascal's is like the lower level of Sin City but expanded to fill the entire hall, and therefore a lot less crowded. There's a social area for seeing and being seen, but the action is in a designated area, with some of the finest custom made bondage equipment in the city. Rascal's attendees have a median age a little older than the Sin City or Vancouver Dungeon crowd, and they're more likely to play with the people they came with than people they meet there. There's no dancing, as at Sin City, and no "cuddle room", as at Vancouver Dungeon, but that just leaves more room for play.

The Illuminares Lantern Festival and Public Dreams are here at last, the sun goes down and flocks of Vancouverites are heading to Trout lake (above map) for a night of mystique, night-lights, and other intrigues. Some like to play the drums, some like to traverse the parade for great sights and pictures, and some like to take a bit of time to come up with some sexy games of their own. We at BR happen to be of the third persuasion and, of course, are encouraged to write about it!

Why is this a most romantic night? On this night, the Illuminares Lantern Procession fills the air with music, and thousands of paper lanterns come alive with fire. A brilliant spectacle of weaving serpents, birds in flight, planets in orbit, schools of fish, and all sorts of glowing and shimmering creatures of the imagination. It's a night you want to hold on to your love and fantasize about how wonderful she is, and how she deserves the very best.

Where, When, How? And so, without further ado, here is another installment of the best places to get coy with your sweetie - whether it be a little innocent kissing, some heavy petting, or something a little more indecent. Because we know you've thought of the outdoors festivals as not just a microcosm for art and lanters, but also a macrocosm for your earthly whims and urges. We know - as publicists, writers, reporters, designers, fashionistas, alike - that sensual urges call on you whenever and, yes, wherever you may be. READ ON...

I know that for long-term West End residents this may border on heresy, but when Benny's Bagels disappeared from the beach at English Bay I was not particularly upset. Sure, at one point BB's was as much a staple in my neighbourhood routine as Tanpopo's all-you-can-eat and bitching about the fireworks, but one moldy herb bagel with rancid dill cream cheese combo ended our relationship cold. Benny was dead to me.

So, when that cherry space at the bottom of Davie turned over into the Denman St. Free House, I was smitten, and it instantly became my new sweetheart.