Bikes: Really Really Good. But Not Perfect.

Do you ride bikes? I ride bikes. I love bikes. Most of us here at Beyond Robson do. Not only are they the most efficient vehicle around, but they're also fun to ride, which all adds up to make them the perfect mode of urban transportation. As a cyclist, rush hour traffic, which can drive one into a homicidal frenzy if they're stuck behind the wheel of a car, may become your favourite part of the day. I used to greatly enjoy the video game quality of cutting a line through Georgia St. rush hour gridlock back in the days when I worked in West Van. Cars, while useful in many cases, tend to suck ass in the "practical urban transportation" category. So if you're going back to school today, ride your bike. Same goes for work too. And the grocery store. And the bar tonight. And the cinema. And for wherever else you need to go. But while you're cruising around on that wonderful machine, keep a few things in mind...

Riding At Night With No Lights - You know that if you're riding at night and you don't have lights, you're basically invisible, right? I've had more night-driving close calls than I care to think about brought on by a bike suddenly materializing from out of the darkness. And as an avid cyclist, I'm always on the lookout for bikes. Shit, last night I was almost involved in a bike-to-bike head-on collision with a lightless cyclist who was riding on the wrong side of the street.

Incessant Use of the Crosswalk Button - Oriental pedestrians are generally the chief offenders here, but many cyclists are also guilty. When stopped at a cyclist/pedestrian-controlled intersection, please refrain from pushing the button repeatedly. That infernal beeping is annoying. And since the uselessness of the tactic is obvious to anyone who's tried it and actually paid attention to the results, you look like a retard.

Unskilled Cyclists on Brakeless Fixed-Gear Bikes - The clean aesthetic of a brakeless fixed-gear and the skill of the experienced riders of such steeds are truly beautiful things. One of my favourite Toronto bike memories is following Boston Courier Tom and watching in awe as he wove an intricate path through rush-hour traffic on his brakeless Cyclops. BUT, the recent trendiness of the brakeless fixed-gear bike has caused a corresponding increase in the number of said bikes being piloted through the city by riders who have no business doing so. Part of the blame can be laid on the trend police, who can be heard laying scorn on cyclists who choose using brakes over keeping it real. If you're riding a fixed-gear bicycle, good for you, they're fun as hell. However, if you're impressionable and lacking in experience, please don't cave to peer pressure by taking your front brake off before you're good and ready. It's not just your safety that you're flaunting.

And remember... the person who laughs at you for having brakes is closely related to the guy who called you a pussy back in high school when you wouldn't take eight hits of acid and "join him in the Spirit World". And just as it's perfectly acceptable to chuckle at ol' Mr. CrazyEyes's stuttering demeanor when you see him on the street now, I don't feel at all bad about having a laugh at the brakeless cyclist who returned my friendly smile-and-nod with an upturned nose and then, unable to control his speed going into his next turn, ran into a curb and ended up sprawled on the sidewalk.

Bike Route Abuses - As a cyclist, knowing your rights and standing up for them is a good thing. Don't take any dumb shit from automobile operators, especially on the bike route, and please promise me that you won't ever expose yourself to potential doorings by riding only a foot out from parked cars so the guy in the SUV can rip past you. They're the one who chose to drive on the bike route, right? But at the same time... don't be an unreasonable douchebag. One time I was driving a friend to Vancouver General Hospital along 10th Ave. and a girl on a bike ahead of me swerved into the middle of the road when she noticed I was behind her and rode there for the next two blocks so that I couldn't get past. If my passenger had been... say... a woman in an advanced state of labour or someone with a critical injury, a rear-ending might have been called for.

Mountain Bikes At Skateparks - Skaters and BMXers have been known to disagree on a thing or two, but there's at least one thing that we definitely agree on: mountain bikes at skateparks are as gay as the hills. They're to BMX what fruit boots are to skateboarding. This is definitely no slam against actual mountain biking, mind you. What those lunatics are up to on the North Shore trails is undeniably bad ass. But if you've ever have the pleasure of watching a skilled BMXer destroy a skatepark and then been subjected to the grotesque spectacle a guy on a 6"-travel fork awkwardly pedalling and bobbing his way around the same place like a three-legged jackalope, then you were probably gripped by the urge to go straight home and ghostride your mountain bike into the ocean out of pure shame.

Photo courtesy of rene.gadedx