I Got Drunk at a Fake Wedding with Lucy Liu

I had a basic concept of what Tony n' Tina's Wedding consisted of: you buy a ticket to participate in a wedding and become a part of the ceremony and reception, all while witnessing the chaos that ensues between the cast.

Well I arrived with my guest at the beautiful St. Andrew's Wesley Church on the corner of Burrard and Nelson, slightly confused as to why all the church doors were closed. We decided to wait it out for a bit and soon guests in wedding attire began to show up. An old man in a long black trenchcoat, shades, and top hat approached me with his cane frantically waving in the air, "Is this the wedding for Tony n' Tina!? Do you know when the wedding is starting!?" I explained from the sign I had just seen that the show began at 7:00 p.m. and doors were at 6:30. He walked away and began pestering the other guests making me realize he was one of the actors. I turned to my friend and said, "I don't think I can do this."

We took our seats and I engaged in some small chit chat with other guests, or so I thought they were guests. My paranoia began to set in and I was convinced everyone was an actor except for my friend and I. After mentioning how this was a show and that the production would be closing by the end of May to a few "guests" I was met with a "shut-your-mouth-and-pretend-this-is-real" face. Once again, "I don't think I can do this."

However, by the end of the night Tony n' Tina's proved to be the best wedding I've experienced to date. The fun began as soon as the ceremony was over and the cast walked us over to the reception being held at a restaurant atop the Queen Elizabeth Theatre. My friend and I were seated with Tina's flamboyantly gay older brother Joey Vitale, and the Immodium-seeking uncle whom I first came across outside the church. We were entertained by a beyond cheesy Vegas act and songs such as "YMCA" (always a crowd pleaser) and "My Heart Will Go On" had all the guests on the dancefloor. And after indulging in a bottle of wine Joey Vitale and I owned that dance floor with our flailing kicks to the 80's classic "Footloose." The cast even incorporated some of the guests into speeches, such as picking on my friend that they deemed as celebrity Lucy Liu, asking her to give the newlyweds some words of wisdom on their long awaited wedding night.

After about three and a half hours I came out of the wedding absolutely exhausted. The thing is, if you're going to attend the production do not expect to simply be an observer. You're a part of the production and you're going to have to put your all into it if you want to have a good time. If you're on the shy, quiet side then I definitely would not recommend this or else you'll be freaking out about being picked on for the entire duration of the show. If you decide to attend, then get your money's worth and go nuts. Dance with the cast members and your friends, take a couple trips to the cash bar, and make sure to interact with everyone around you because you are bound to meet some unique characters.

Unfortunately, after 14 years Tony n' Tina's Wedding will be shutting its curtains forever on May 30th. Though the price of tickets may be a deterrent for some, let's admit that the prices are how much you would spend on any Friday or Saturday night out with friends, the exception being that you are guaranteed to have decent food, music, and company. What more could you ask for?

Tickets may be purchased here.

Special thanks to Rebecca Coleman.
All photos by Mischa Bartkow Photography.